Being the last of my siblings to have a child of my own, I found a lot of pressure was on me to follow in the footsteps of those before me, and follow the more conventional trends of raising a child that we face today.

Everything seems uniform and orthodox nowadays, the months in which we bottle feed, followed by the exact time we introduce solids, to the time they should be told to potty train and have their beloved nappy ripped from them!

I don’t tend to go against the norm for any contrived reasons and to be anti-conformist, but I do find a lot of the patterns we have with raising babies rather unnatural and the by-product of habit and trend, rather than beneficial progress. I first fed my son solids when I felt the time was right and when he was fully ready, followed my instincts and went with nature, rather than timing it like clockwork like everybody else seems to.

I’ve always been confident in these decisions, and they have always been 100% right without question. That’s not to say it hasn’t been difficult, though. Potty training has been a very large mountain to climb indeed, as is often one I find I’m still conquering. At first there is always a sense of one step forward two steps back, but that is completely natural.

You have to put yourself in the baby’s shoes; They’ve just spent their entire life having their nappy on whenever they need the toilet, having that comfort and complete satisfaction of being able to go whenever they need to. It is unnatural after all to have to hold in your waste, and there is absolutely no purpose for it in nature, so your child has to fight every instinct to not go whenever they need to. For this reason accidents will occur, it’s inevitable and you just have to deal with it.

At the time of them being a toddler, boys in particular can act defiant against the toilet, going everywhere besides the bathroom. Plant pots, cups, vases, bowls and pet habitats all become substitute toilets in the eyes of a rebelling child. This is a natural occurrence and one that must be handled with a delicate temperament, as it is very testing after the 100th time. The more you help your child and show that you are there for them the easier they will come to peace with it, and build confidence in being able to take themselves to the toilet.

Written by Matt Crawford

For more articles on potty training and parenting in general please check out our main page: Cot Bed

A temper tantrum is something most parents worry about having to deal with. We hear phrases like the “terrible twos” and worry that our children are on the borderline of it when they start getting closer to 2.

Temper tantrums are not fun to witness and usually occur when a child doesn’t get their own way because they are upset and this is the only way they know how to express themselves.

A temper tantrum shows a child’s inability to control their emotions well. This is natural, in that a child needs to learn how to cope with the human spectrum of emotions and how to express them effectively.

Children naturally want to assert their independence, however as parents we have to set age-specific boundaries in order to protect them and help them grow. When a child asserts their independence and is given a “no” or are told they are unable to do something or go somewhere, it can be upsetting. A child does not necessarily have the vocabulary to be able to express their feelings adequately and this can lead to frustration. Thus a response to being told no and to feeling frustrated is an emotional outburst or tantrum. The tantrum is the only way that children know how to express themselves.

Many parents believe you should ignore a child or leave the room if they are having a tantrum as giving attention to it is giving your child what they want and thus reinforcing the behaviour to happen in the future. I disagree and in my experience with my son have found Naomi Aldort’s advice in Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, to have given me the most satisfying and best solution to tantrums. My son is nearly 3 now and has only had one or two tantrums and usually just gets a little upset. I believe this is because I did not ignore him during his tantrums.

How I dealt with them was, when he got upset I would let him get on with it and be present. If I was at home then I would not have to remove him from a store or anything but if I was out I would take him outside or to the side and let him tantrum there. Generally he would get really upset and loud but I wouldn’t add any more drama to it by ignoring him or telling him. I would just be present. This was his issue and he needs to learn to cope with the feelings that arise in him. Once he was done with his tantrum I would hold my hands out to offer him a hug and he would hug me. As time went on he learnt how to cope with his feelings moreso and only generally gets really upset when he is tired. Usually now he is happy to just cry a little and get a hug from me.

By giving my son the space to express his emotions and to accept him wholly, I was able to give him the space he needed to learn how to cope with feelings that would arise in him, without judgement or adding drama.

It feels good to be there for him. It hasn’t made him spoilt or made him a bad boy. He is well behaved and is respectful if he can’t do something. Sometimes he might get upset and he gets his feelings out and then we continue with the day but that is it. We don’t add drama to it, we give him the time and space to overcome his feelings.

Our society is all about ignoring our feelings, distracting ourselves and this isn’t helpful for human development whether you are a child or an adult.

Keep in mind that your child is a person with thoughts and feelings of their own and you can’t go far wrong. Children aren’t born bad and their behaviour reflects needs and desires that are not being met for the most part. We, as parents, must ensure that they learn how to express themselves and cope with feelings and emotions without judgement or being reprimanded.

For more parenting articles please see our main page: baby cot beds

Parenting a toddler can seem like an extremely difficult task especially if our toddler is unable to fully communicate by talking. Many people try to treat toddlers in the same way they do older kids but with parenting it is important to remember the age of a child and their understanding.

Babies and toddlers were not born bad. They do not do things to be naughty or to drive you up the bend. Children all are curious and this can get the better of them. Toddlers as well as babies, will reach for anything and everything. They like to explore and to learn about their surroundings. If a toddler grabs something and you tell them no, this is not necessarily going to deter them. They will do so over again. Punishing them or spanking them will not “teach them a lesson” or make them not do it next time either as consequence and punishment is not really age appropriate. The best way to resolve this type of issue is to keep anything you do not want your toddler to grab out of reach. This respects your child’s age – you understand that you can’t expect your child to understand why they shouldn’t touch something or that touching something is wrong. Shouting or telling a toddler off is not going to result in good behaviour. They do not understand and it just leads to unnecessary negativity. Of course it can be frustrating if your child keeps picking up the same thing over and over that you don’t want them to, but the best thing you can do is move it out of reach.

It is also important to factor in your child’s feelings and age when you go out shopping. Sometimes toddlers will get grumpy or frustrated because they are being dragged around shops that have little or no interest to them. They tend to find their own interest within that space and this can be frustrated. It is also worth being empathetic to your child’s need to rest so not be overly annoyed if you have to take a break for them. Try to respect that although you have to get things done during the day, that if you are having to take your toddler with you, they also have needs too. And although they can’t be the centre of attention always, they should at least be given the opportunity to rest and maybe given some time during the day to focus on what they want to do. This gives them a sense of control over their environment and can help make shopping trips more bearable knowing that they will eventually get to pick what happens next.

If your child throws a fit or a tantrum while you out. The best thing you can do is leave the store or move to one side and let them get their feelings out. Don’t add any drama to it, just be there and when they start to settle hold your hands out to offer them a hug. They will take this up. Letting your child express their feelings will prevent them bottling it up (and causing major tantrums when it gets released all at once) and also help them deal with it more appropriately and effectively in future. The tantrum is your child’s whirlwind of emotion – not yours, so don’t add drama to it. Acknowledge this is about how they are feeling and this is the only way they know how to express it. When you don’t add drama but are there to give them a hug when they are finished you will find it remarkable how swiftly the next emotional outburst and the next will be. You aren’t setting your child up to be naughty or to get away with something, you are acknowledging their need to let their feelings out and loving them unconditionally.

Children aren’t bad – they don’t do things to be bad, they do things because their needs are not being met or they are overwhelmed with emotion.

Of course, as a parent, it is important to parent and to give direction – but a good parent tries to yes whenever it is possible. Parenting a toddler isn’t about controlling a child, it is about learning to help a child grow based on their age and abilities. All children really need is unconditional love, acceptance of who they are (even when in the midst of a tantrum) and direction.

For more parenting articles please see our main page: baby cot beds

Some people take the position of parent as one that causes a lot of hassle and stress. Things like potty training and getting one’s children to do as they are told can seem like the most stressful things we have to come across but it really does not have to be that way.

If we approach things with our child in mind then we can step away with seeing these situations as something that has to be fought over it doesn’t.

To ensure the easiest route to get your child potty trained it is important to make sure that they are ready. Being ready comes in many different forms.

Signs of readiness include:

Ability To Recognise & Communicate Their Need To Go – If your child recognises they need to go and communicate to you that they have gone in their diaper then this is one of the signs of readiness.

Is Able To Walk Or Move Steadily Enough – If your child is physically able to use the potty on their own, of course maybe with help from you to sit down, this is a great advantage.

Show Signs Of Social And Emotional Readiness – This is probably the most important sign for readiness. For my son, he showed his readiness by simply deciding one day he wanted to use the toilet instead of his diapers and from that day on was pretty much potty trained! If you try to introduce the potty and your child is resistant then they most likely are not ready to be trained. This is ok and it is best to not force your child to use it before they are ready. If they see their parents using the toilet often, they should eventually show signs of readiness because every child wants to copy their parents.

If we ignore these signs of readiness and try to train our children before they are ready we are going to have one huge fight on our hand. This maybe difficult if our children don’t show signs of readiness early on, as many parents worry about the social stigma or having a 3 or 4 year old still in a diaper. They can also worry if their child needs to go to daycare.

Generally once a child has shown sign the next step is to make sure that your take away nappies completely. Do not use them anymore. This may mean that when you go out you have to take extra clothes and be more aware of your child’s needs but using pull ups for outings will only lead to confusion and make full potty training hard to reach. There are some great cloth pants that you can get especially for potty training that will help you on outings and you can’t immediately get to a toilet. It is also worth keeping a potty in the car.

It really isn’t necessary to make a big deal out of potty training to try to encourage your child to use the potty nor is it necessary to make them sit on one until they finally go. In these cases I would say it is too early to train and one should be patient instead of making potty training such a big deal that it has to take over your life because you are training a child too young.

Relax – your child will get it and want to do it eventually.

For more parenting articles please see our main page: baby cot beds

It is often cited that boys can be harder to potty train than girls.  Apparently boys are difficult and take longer to get to a stage where they are fully potty trained.  Some say this is because girls are more cooperative while others say it is because girls develop the awareness and social want to potty train long before boys.

Well I have only to go by my experience with my son and for me potty training was very easy.  In fact all I did was follow my son’s lead.  Just after his second birthday he decided he wanted to start using the toilet like his dad.  He didn’t want to use the potty he wanted to use the toilet.  So we started taking him and he did fine.  I didn’t have to encourage him, he just one chose to start this and leave his nappy off.

During the day he likes to be naked but on occasions when he was clothed, like when we went out, he did at first not realise he still needed to say he needed to go to the toilet.  Clothes were like wearing a nappy to him I think.  It didn’t take long for him to acknowledge this and he soon stopped having accidents.

With night training, this sort of just happened too.  He will get up around 12 to go to the toilet then go back to sleep and go as soon as he wakes up.  He is nearly 3 now and has no accidents at night for a couple of months now.  Potty training with my son has been a breeze.

During his potty training though he has had some weird moments.  At one point he decided that he was going to use other things to pee in.  He particularly liked using cups.  We have a cup designated for this desire and after a month it soon fizzled down.  We still have this cup by the bed because sometimes at night he doesn’t want to have to go all the way to the toilet.

I think if I could give any tips from my experience with my son I would give the following:

Expose your child to you using the toilet – my son has always seen his dad use the toiler and always follows me in.  I think this exposure helped him want to eventually use it himself as kids like to copy their parents.

Don’t force it – If your child is ready then they will have no problem wanting to learn to use a potty or toilet.  If your child is resistant then I would leave it alone.  If you try to force it you are likely to make potty training a horrible stressful event and it really doesn’t have to be.

Don’t use pull ups once you start the process – When your child starts potty training, don’t use pull-ups or nappies.  My son would have accidents while out frequently to begin with because he was confused that clothing meant a diaper.  Even so, I think resulting back to a nappy would have confused him more and this is what a lot of parents experience.  Once you start, go on as you mean to and don’t look back.  Of course nappies may still be needed at night but only use them for that occasion and don’t get tempted to use them during the day for convenience.

Stay relaxed – I think it is important to just go with the flow and don’t worry if your child isn’t showing signs super early.  I know for many even 2 is quite late to potty train but could you imagine if I tried forcing my son before he was ready?  It would have been a nightmare.  He is a strong willed little boy and there is no way I could have made him to do something he wasn’t ready to do.  Good thing I was patient as he decided to start using the toilet all by himself!

From my personal experience I really don’t think boys could possibly be any more difficult than girls when it comes to potty training.  The key to success, I believe, is patience and understanding your child and their progress.

For more parenting articles please see our main page: baby cot beds

Potty training can feel like a daunting task, especially when it seems to be frowned upon if your child isn’t out of their nappy by the time they are 1!

We all want our children out of diapers as soon as possible and stress if they are getting to an age where they really should be trained. But why should they be?

One of the best things you can hold in your mind when it comes to children is that every child is different. Every child will reach developmental milestones at different paces; this can also include potty training. Some children will feel socially and emotionally ready earlier while others may take their sweet time! This is nothing to worry about though and if you want a struggle on your hands then go against your child’s wishes. Otherwise try to take cues from them.

If however, you need to get your child ready to potty train quickly, despite having been patient there are some things you can try to do. First get rid of the diapers including the pull up kind. The best thing to do is let your child be naked or to wear little panties. If your child can let you know they need to go then this is a sign they are ready but if they are socially disinclined to use the potty then you may have a hard time getting them to do so. Taking away their nappy may help and does in most cases, but not always. Generally they will not want to feel wet and this will encourage them to use the toilet. If they are naked it will help them be more aware of their bodily functions. There will be accidents but don’t punish or get upset at your child for them – that isn’t fair to them and won’t help them train.

My son trained himself at 2 years old and I didn’t have to do anything. One day he just decided he wanted to use the toilet. This was great for me and now that he is nearly 3 and completely trained EVEN at night. I didn’t force him or pressurise him and I think this might be key to it. He also went to the toilet with his dad most mornings and has always followed me into the bathroom and this exposure has let him see this is what adults do. Kids naturally want to follow and copy their parents so letting them see you use the toilet is important. My son actually didn’t want to use the potty at all, he wanted to use the toilet. He would use the potty only when we weren’t in the house.

My son wasn’t perfect though – he did have accidents at first. He sometimes didn’t acknowledge that he needed the toilet because he was wearing clothes. He was perfect without clothes, but with them on would realise too late, bless him! It didn’t take him long to get over this though and he is very good at holding it when we can’t get to a toilet quickly.

He also went through a phase of wanting to pee in different things besides the potty. He likes peeing in cups the most, but with just let him do it in one cup designated for this task and he soon got over it.

The key to success though is not just about going with your child’s development and their desires. You also need to be consistent. Once your child is ready, don’t use diapers or pull ups because it is more convenient for example when you go out in the car.

Accidents are going to happen but if you use pull ups in situations where more happen you can confuse your child and they may just become comfortable with using the diaper despite having shown interest to train.

For more information and parenting help check out our main page: baby cot beds

Potty training can seem like a daunting task especially if it is your first child. Many people worry about when the right time is and how you can tell if your child is ready to potty training.

Child development experts say that a child is ready when:

• You can predict when your child needs the toilet.
• Your child can communicate to you when they need to go or are aware of the need to go.
• They don’t like being in a soiled nappy.
• They are physically able to use the potty.
• Your child has a social readiness and want to use the toilet and be trained.
• Your child is in a toddler bed as opposed to a baby cot bed.

With my son, he would tell us when he was going and at around 2 years of age just decided on his own he wanted to use the toilet. Ever since then he has used it. We, as parents, did not have to train him – he took control himself and did what he wanted to do. He is nearly 3 now and is even dry at night – getting up once during the night to go to the toilet.

I think social or emotional readiness is the most important factor when it comes to potty training. Your child may tell you when they are going and be completely ready in terms or their communication and physical abilities, but not have the desire to actually use the toilet or potty. In fact my son never wanted to use the potty, he always wanted to go to the toilet because that is what we use. Wee just followed his lead.

I remember introducing the toilet much earlier and he did go a few times on the potty but I wasn’t going to force him. I think there is an anxiety in parents to train their child as soon as possible as it can seem as though society frowns upon an older toddler in nappies still. I think it is much more important to focus on your child than what society thinks. It is going to be a massive headache for you if you try and force your child to use the potty when they do not want to. Does it really get you anywhere punishing them or coaxing them into it? Not really. It makes training difficult and not smooth sailing. My parenting philosophy has always been to take the easy route – listen to my child and let him make some decisions by himself. I guess I am lucky in that I haven’t let societal norm get to me and have stayed strong in what I believe is right.

Children want to be like their parents, including using the toilet, so a child should eventually want to do this. My son has always went to the toilet with his dad and always follows me in, so has been regularly exposed to it. I think this is a great way to introduce them to the concept and get them exposed to something else they want to copy!

Despite the societal pressure many feel to get their child potty trained, especially if they have to be sent to nursery, experts agree that parents need to be patient and that a child is not ready to potty train when they resist using the potty or toilet in anyway. Toddlers can show different signs for this. Some might refuse to take their nappy off and fight you over it. You may get told no or your child may even hide from you! If this is the case don’t force it and leave them be. You can encourage potty training and your child will tell you if they want to or not.

Even though my son was ready at 2 and started using the toilet of his own accord, he did get confused at first when he was clothed compared to naked. He prefers being naked and is a typical little boy in that as soon as he gets in the house he strips! When he first started using the toilet he wouldn’t acknowledge as well that he needed the toilet when he was clothed in pants (we never used pull ups while he wanted to use the toilet. He got the hang on it fairly quickly though and then was on a new discovery of all the things he could pee in like cups and sauce pans! However we rode the waves and let him play out his curiosity and desire to pee in cups and he now just uses the toilet like a normal person!

To sum things up, I think it is important to go with the flow. Let your child show you when they are ready and try not to force it upon them to train when they really do not wish too. Potty training doesn’t have to be a challenge, it can be very easy if you don’t put too many expectations on your child before they are ready.

When one finds themselves pregnant they think about all the things they want to do to provide the best environment for their child and best upbringing.

One of these factors for many is to bring their child up in an environmentally friendly environemt. Green living is important for most parents. This article has 5 tips to being a green parent.

1. Breastfeed – There is nothing more eco-friendly than breastfeeding. No bottles required, no electricity needed to heat the milk and no added materials. Breastfeeding provides all the nourishment your child needs without having to rely on packaged goods and add to the waste that is already accumulating massively on our planet.

2. Eat Healthily – It is always best to opt for organic products whenever you can. You can also grow your own fruits and vegetables to get the best organic food you could ever hope for. Eating a healthy diet full of raw fruits and vegetables will make your feel better, cut down the impact you have on the earth and provide your child will lots of nourishment. If your child sees you eating plenty of fresh fruitsa and vegetables they will catch on to and will love picking them from their own garden.

3. Use Alternatives To Cleaning Products – Cleaning products are full of harsh chemicals that can affect you and your child’s health. They are also unnecessary and there are plenty of green alternatives. You can even use things such as lemon juice and bicarbonate of soda and do not have to rely on the green products you find in stores. Try to also reduce your use of personal care products such as shampoos and bubble bath. Water, for the most part, is all you need. You can also get organic natural products that will last longer so not only are better for your health but also have less of an impact of the environment as a whole.

4. Stick To Natural Toys & Limit Them – Generally the simplest things can be the best toys for children. A cardboard box, for example, can give a child hours of fun, whereas plastic toys with flashing lights often lose the interest of children fairly quickly. Try to get your child natural toys that stimulate imagination, intellect and health rather than plastic toys that can be hazard to health and do not allow your child’s imagination to run wild.

5. Buy Less – Babies do not need as much stuff as people insist. For some they don’t even need a cot or a pushchair. Only buy what is essential and that you need. Buying less is a great thing to learn and adapt to and is much better for the environment.